Talking Back to Ritalin Peter R

Talking Back to Ritalin Peter R Breggin M.D

What About the Violent Child?

Although the vast majority of children labeled ADHD and medicated with stimulants are not violent, I am frequently asked “What can you do about the violent child?” Since serious violence is rare, especially among children diagnosed ADHD, usually this question is raised more as a challenge than a real-life problem. The question implies that “being loving” might be good for easy kids but not for the toughest ones.

A very violent child is a very angry child, and a very angry child is a very hurt child. That’s all there is to it. As much or more than most children, the very hurt and angry child needs unconditional love in a safe relationship with a wise adult. Regardless of how badly a child has been emotionally hurt, or how disturbed or violent the child has become, the help remains the same—to offer the child a relationship that is safe, secure, predictable, disciplined and loving.

There are no drugs that can help children learn to overcome their violent feelings or actions. No drugs have ever been approved for this purpose. Even if they are someday, it would remain the wrong approach. Anger springs from hurt, especially from feelings of worthlessness and humiliation. The way to ease a child’s anger is to ease the child’s feelings of worthlessness and humiliation. That means treating the child with love and respect.

When a little boy, for example, will physically resist or attack adults at the risk of getting hurt, that little boy especially needs gentleness and kindness. An enraged child is a child especially in need of adults schooled in the art of nonviolence. Diagnosing and drugging a child is a violent response. It’s meeting violence with violence. In the long run it will breed more reactive violence on the child’s part. If the child does become submissive, it’s out of fear—with smoldering resentment cooking dangerously beneath the surface.

Yes, we can subdue most children, temporarily at least, with large doses of toxic agents. But I believe it is abusive and I think it should be illegal. It harms the brains of the child and undermines any hope of a peaceful, loving resolution of the conflicts the child is having with other people.

When I give workshops or write about how to help violent children, I emphasize the importance of the adult caregivers becoming non-violent. This is not always an easy task. It involves paying more attention to how we feel than to controlling the child. It requires us to find the resources to project a caring, nurturing, safe presence in the face of the child’s fear and aggression. A child will often become more peaceful when in the presence of an adult who is devoted to being gentle and non-violent, even in the face of physical threats. However, helping a very upset, angry child is no easy matter.